Chapter 33 - Mendacity- In Construction

Boulevard St Michel

Passagem of: Bronze Warrior

Institut Catholic

           In between the age of sixteen to eighteen I went to two courses of French in Paris, where we stayed at the Hotel Trianon, just off the Boulevard St Michelle. In the mornings, we had classes of French for foreign students at l’Institut Catholique, at the rue d’Assas, which was within walking distance of the hotel. And we had the afternoon’s off to visit the city and go shopping.

           As I had not previously known anyone going on this trip, I shared a room with a girl from Belo Horizonte by the name of Beatriz Ferreira Leite, whom I had never met before. After a while sharing a room, we became friendly and then she told me that when her friends heard that I was going with this group, they told her to observe me so that they could tell the stories about me to the others afterwards. She also said that she did not like me at all before. And when I asked her why, considering that she had never met me, she answered:

“Oh, when I saw you go by in your car I thought you looked rather ‘antipatique’. But now that I know you I realise I was wrong. You are actually very tranquil.” 

I remember clearly her choice of word. Tranquil! And I wondered then, why should I not have been?

Passage from The Bronze Warrior

Chapter: World Trees.

           Life is an eternal struggle to be happy, and to achieve this we have to live in peace and surrounded by beauty. For me, to be surrounded by my things - be furniture, paintings and objects from around the world that have memories for me, by my clothe that have seen decades of my life - is a necessity to my emotional balance. And then, the people that surround us, near or far, may not have the power to disturb or even to cause vibrations to the air that involve us.

           There are some people though, with whom it is almost impossible to relate, without perceiving toxic emanations to the air we breathe. But I just can’t eliminate them completely from my life because I feel that if I do so I will have failed to succeed in something. For instance, my brother and sister have both judged me to be something that I do not believe I am. Would it be easier to give up on them? Maybe. But I can’t. By so doing I will have failed to be able have harmony with my siblings.

           It is strange how I still struggle to make peace with my father on the subject that cause us to distance from each other. I do it through my dreams. I have often dreamed of my father and I still arguing about my refusal to work with him and instead to live in England. I recently dreamt that I had negotiated with father that I would work with him but I would spend each three-month period alternating between Belo and London.

           I proposed to him that during the months that I was away I would be present online, and for video conference whenever it was necessary, which would give continuance to my work. It is a pity that such an arrangement was not possible at the time when we needed, because I think that it would have worked. I still hate to think of my father becoming unhappy with me. We always loved each other so much.

           Now, as far as Hades’s family, I tread carefully. While I refuse to be ostracised I cannot forget the hatred, the horror and the threats that went on. Maybe I suffer from vanity, or I am just pragmatic and want to have the best from all sides. But I do not want to be, or to be seen, as someone who did not conquer the whole world upon which I touched. I do not accept to be judged as someone who was thought as a bad person. Vanity, all is vanity.

           But Hades has again become devilish. He persecutes people and has also insulted others, who now go in absolute terror of him. And meanwhile I think to myself – I have seen it all before. He screams that people have to respect him. He disagrees about everything as he is each day more obsessed about his fear of being alone. So, he rages and roars so loud that even the skies could hear him.

Pindorama, versão inglesa, à venda no Dayrell Hotel

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Kiki Garavaglia | Reply 23.06.2017 23.47

Hi Anna ! Congratulations for your site ! Very touching, the passage in which you expose your sorrow for not being able to cooperate with your father...

Rosana Aparecida de Castro | Reply 21.01.2017 17.57

Congratulations! Alls sucess

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Latest comments

25.08 | 17:07

Está perfeito.Parabéns.Adorei

26.03 | 16:05

Acho que o sofrimento e as perseguições o mudaram, mas ele nunca perdeu seu lado humano.
Fiz o melhor que estava em meu alcance por ele.
Sinto muito sua falta!

26.03 | 15:58

Ele dizia que o maior golpe que recebeu em sua vida foi a intervenção no Banco Financial.
Compartilho com você a visão do grande ser humano que ele foi.

26.03 | 15:54

Muitas vezes eu penso que houveram duas fases principais da vida de meu pai.
concordo com você. Admiro sua atitude de resguardar a boa memória dele.

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